John Watson's Warrior

mrpondismypatronus:

Some religious people (no clue which) came to my door to see if they could recruit me. When asked about my faith, I was really tempted to say:

“I’m a devout Sherlockian. We honor and fear the almighty ‘Gaffat’ (also known as ‘Moffiss’ depending on what teachings you follow), who is both the giver of life and destroyer of worlds. We gather to eat jam, drink coffee (black two sugars), and wear deer stalkers.

“In exchange for our devotion, the mighty Gaffat rewards us with the exciting adventures of two English flat(soul)mates, for three Sundays every 18 months. But Gaffat is also petty and enjoys our pain. So on the last Sunday, it will break our hearts and send us into an insane frenzy, thereby ensuring we remain faithful until our next reward.

“For the following 18 months we devout Sherlockians will go to our computers and dissect the tales we have been gifted. We attempt to understand what the mighty Gaffat is planning next, what it’s motivations are, and why it is both rewarding and punishing us. We revisit the previous tales, attempting to find clues and hidden messages. We text each other theories, and attempt to convert non-believers into our way of life. 

“In the name if The Pathologist, The Consulting Criminal, and Holy Landlady, may Anderson fall of a cliff” *make a smiley face in the air with a riding crop*

Instead I just smiled, said I was happy with my belief system, and closed the door.

(via quinngrey)

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